Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Friday afternoon, I received a call from downstairs postal that a large package had arrived for me. With complete excitement I went downstairs to find that my pump and 3 months of supplies had finally come. As I struggled to carry the package (yes, I broke a heel while trying to carry the heavy, awkward box), people were surrounding me asking me what I had gotten. I immediately became quiet, not really wanting to answer. I simply shrugged.
Once I got home, I was once again in pump euphoria and quickly started pulling out box after box to get to the most important one. The actual box containing the pump was huge and I ripped into it. It contained all kinds of books, sample sets, the pump, meter, software...basically everything but the kitchen sink. I quickly put a few batteries in and was ready to play.
Having tried the pump at CWD, I was already a little familiar with many of the buttons and features. Still, I was just like a kid at Christmas playing with a new toy.
I decided to wear it around for a couple of days just to get used to it, and found that I became annoyed. v.e.r.y. annoyed. Within just one day, I started questioning my decision. Suddenly it felt like a reminder, something I couldn't just take off once I was "live." It's one thing to love a gadget, and be happy about the possibility of having some flexibility, but I really hadn't THOUGHT about what it would be like to have this thing with me 24/7.
So here's my dilemma. My pump trainer (and oh so amazing CDE) wants me to train the week of Thanksgiving. Waiting wouldn't really be a bad thing, BUT I only have 30 days from PUMP SHIP DATE to decide if I want to keep it. Earlier I would have never thought returning it would have been a consideration, but now? Well, I don't know. I would like to have some time to actually be using the pump for a little while so I can make an informed decision. Am I wrong? Is a 3 week wait to train the norm, when you have a 30 return policy?
There's also the issue of something going wrong at a holiday. Will someone be available if I need them. I have a follow up with my doc on Dec. 2 and I'm supposed to see him after I've been on the pump a few weeks, but that's just 1. Should I reschedule even if it means they can't see me for another month or 2?? I just don't know.
What I do know is that I was already disappointed about the recall delay; that over $1,000 dollars is a lot to pay if I'm not certain; that starting the pump around the holidays in general seems tricky; that I'm not so sure and excited like I was initially. Any Finally, I know that all the extra calls, appointments and hassles just to order the pump,supplies and strips (while also making sure everything is covered by insurance), have felt like I was jumping through never ending hoops. I mean who knew the easiest and quickest thing was actually getting the insurance approval itself.
In short, I am having severe pre-pump jitters, and I might be a "runaway" pumper.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Just one year ago, I wrote my first D-blog day post. I was just a few months out from diagnosis and still trying to find out how I'd changed, I looked to a new community on the internet to find other voices of those who understood. It seemed almost impossible at that time to believe that others were living with this disease, and yet I found people who were not just living, but thriving with it.
In the past year, I have found those of you, both online and in person, who continue to inspire me. You have done something even more important than that. You have given me a new sense of normal. I have on and off struggled with new situations and constant adjustments, which could have left me feeling completely isolated. Instead, through you I have seen the same small victories and defeats. The simple thrill of a lower A1c or the frustration of an unexpected low. You provide advice and experience better than any doctor or book. You are in a word irreplaceable. For this, I thank all of you.
Doctor's copay..$30. Insulin...$25. Feeling like everyone else...PRICELESS.
Monday, November 3, 2008
OK, So first I have to show the scary creature greeting my guests at my Halloween Party on Friday. For the record, she's a vampire, but her hair seem to overshadow the cute little bugg-eyed hat. Oh well, I was afraid (of how upset she looked in the costume).
Next is the one word meme floating around, that Sara tagged me for. I wish I had paid more attention this weekend because it would have been a great start to a month of blogging. I had planned to NaBloPoMo this month like last year, but Nov. 1 came on a Saturday...Oops. Too late now.
1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? who?
3. Your Hair? brown
4. Your Skin? transparent
5. Your mother? caring
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? wierd
8. Your favorite drink? diet
9. Your dream/goal? happiness
10. The room you’re in? bedroom
11. Your ex? married
12. Your fear? failure
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? settled
14.Where were you last night? church
15.What you’re not? afraid
17.One of your wish list items? cure
18.Where you grew up? South
19.The last thing you did? ran
20.What are you wearing? sweats
21.Your TV? occasionally
22.Your pets? spoiled
23. Your computer? overheated
24. Your life? strange
25. Your mood? content
26. Missing someone? brother
27. Your car? Accord
28. Something you’re not wearing? contacts
29. Favorite Store? Forstalls
30. Your summer? quick
31. Like someone? possibility...
32. Your favorite color? Red
33. When is the last time you laughed? recently
34. Last time you cried? fortnight
35. Who will respond to this? anyone
36. Who’s answers are you anxious to see? yours