Monday, December 10, 2007
No, It's not a greeting. And no, I'm not on illegal drugs either.
Apparently, that is my meters way of saying, "You really screwed up this time!"
In the event of feeling rather blue, I hibernated this weekend. I had the full intentions of testing and taking care of myself, but somehow didn't. Not one test...not one shot. Now, I know the honeymoon is over.
Just 2 short little days without my small amount of insulin was enough to ruin all my control. I finally tested last night, and was in the mid-300s. OK not so good... take my basal and my fast acting. That should do it. It always has in the past, but not this time. Four hours later... low 400s. I WENT UP!!! How could that be? Check for ketones...moderate. Again, not so good. I take more Novolog, but have never been in this predicament. I'm terrified of giving too much, but I also have a desert in my mouth and feel really crappy.
So after a very sleepless night, with many a trip to the restroom, I'm still in the 400s. Take my insulin, and pray. Shower, Go to work. Test before lunch, knowing I'm not feeling a whole lot better. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....HI. Are you kidding Me? My meter reads up to 600, supposedly. Test again ...HI. Now I'm a little panicky, and I need to call the Doctor's office, BUT I'm soooo embarrassed. What do I say? "I just stopped taking the insulin, cause I didn't feel like it?" or "I thought I was honeymooning, and it would be OK?" Or the truth which is I just didn't think at all. I'm working up the courage to call, but now with large ketones I'm afraid it might be an emergency, and I don't feel THAT bad.
I"M SOOOOO MAD AT MYSELF, I COULD SCREAM!!!!
Why isn't my insulin working? How did this happen sooo fast? I just don't get it!
Alright, I'm off to call. Wish me luck, and I hope that they don't yell at me or guilt me.