Monday, January 26, 2009

Insurance Woes

I'm feeling much better today, after worrying all weekend over a huge and inaccurate bill I received from Animas. It seems after the pump bill was sent and paid by my insurance provider, Animas has decided to go after a new contract rate. Friday, I received a bill for a large part of it. Now it's being straightened out, and I'm pretty sure my insurance will stick to their guns, but just the thought of all that extra money has made my stomach do somersaults.

In general, I seem to have a sensitive panic button. That really bothers me. Even knowing there was nothing I could do over the weekend, that I knew it was probably a huge mistake, and that worrying was doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but making me ill, I still focused on the worst possible scenarios. I can't stand that I do that.

I can tell myself that it keeps me from ever being disappointed or even surprised, but that's not really true. I think maybe, not having complete control is almost intolerable. It seems preparing for all possibilities, even the worst, gives me the feeling of control. An instant way to reclaim order and prepare. In the mean time, I'm sure it detracts me from enjoying the time in between, and is taking years off my life via stress.

Diabetes has certainly left me feeling vulnerable and insecure at times (too often). Especially when I think about money, insurance, and the fact that I will be dependent on these for the rest of my life. Being at the hands of other people to help control/manage my health is humbling and sobering. I've never had much need to become familiar with doctors & specialists. I've had little experience with dealing with insurance companies and things like coverage. That is until diabetes arrived.

Just two weeks ago, I had to spend over 2 hours on the phone with my insurance company, when a computer glitch caused my insulin to be denied. MY INSULIN. MY LIFE. That's pretty scary if you simply don't have the money to pay full price. (I did find out that they covered CGM at 100%, so not a completely bad call)

It's so hard to find a balance between preparedness, and pessimism. I've spent most of the day feeling silly for the anger and worry, that my friends were talking me down from on Friday. I'm sure as time goes on, I will be a pro at handling all the bumps in the road that come from diabetes. But I wish I didn't have to. I wish no one had to. maybe one day...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Last Friday, I got a UPS notice that something required my adult signature and that they have missed me twice on delivery. Since then, it has been torturing me that I don't know who it's from or what it is. The only info I could get from the tracking # was that it was from Massachusetts. Adult signature required... could it be pump stuff? No, I haven't ordered any. A belated Christmas gift? No, I don't know anyone from there. I repeat, it was absolutely driving me nuts.

So today I come home to a UPS package in front of my door. I suppose signatures are not required on Tuesdays. Of course, I run upstairs and open it, before I could even let my dog out. I sliced open the package and Presto! No really, that's what it was. I got the Agamatrix Presto meter that I signed up for IN JULY at the CWD conference. It came complete with every pamphlet they could throw at you, an extra customized leopard case, red meter and a discount cards for strips.

Now I would be really excited if it came with actual sample strips. I've heard from a lot of people that Agamatrix meters, like the Keynote, are pretty accurate. This is why, it was the only meter I was super interested in at the conference.

It did come with the discount card, but NO ONE sells their strips (or meters) in B'ham in retail. NO ONE! I will have to order them online, where I can't use the discount card. Now, in all fairness, their strips are really reasonably priced, but I would like to actually try it before investing further. I also hate having to wait on something to ship before I get to use my new and nifty gadget.

Curious to excited to disappointed in a matter of minutes. Oh well, till I get around to ordering anything, it will be one more meter I get to add to the diabetes closet.

Monday, January 19, 2009

New Year, New Hope, New Vlog

OK, so it's a new year, and I've made no resolutions, because then I would surely fail. Instead, in my optimism following a long and much needed vacation, I'm working on trying new things. Better D-management, new foods, new books, and even trying to vlog. I know, I know... what was I thinking! Well, I'm probably not, so I'm apologizing in advance for the poor quality (computer webcam) and the ugly picture (Oh wait that's just me!) I really hope I look better in person, but I digress.

1st Offical Vlog from Mandysweetlife on Vimeo.

In case you can't hear me, I'm basically curious on every one's opinions on A1c vs meter averages. Mine never match and I've just about decided that my meter doesn't really count. Especially since I got back another A1c this weekend and it hasn't changed at all. It's a great A1c of 5.8, and I really won't complain. My averages on my meter however have been 209, 197 and 197 for my 30, 60, & 90 day overall average. Does a blood sugar of 300 really affect you if it doesn't show in the long term perspective? That's my internal fear. I'm trying to determine whether to actually start basal testing and carb ratio testing (you know, really USING my pump), but I'm not sure it's worth it. My doc was pretty easy going last week, so when I told him "I'm good", he didn't question. Makes for very quick and painless visits with no logs or downloads included.

If you choose to watch my very amateur vlog, the password is sweetlife. I plan to vlog more if people actually want to see it. Certainly no hard feelings if you don't. I just know how much I enjoy those of you who already vlog. Thanx!