Wednesday, October 10, 2007

How Much Time Is Too Much Time?

Since diagnosis, I have felt like a "good", pro-active person with diabetes. I have read every article and book I could get my hands on. I have scoured the internet, searching for answers about causes, cures, & research. I am almost fanatical about my food, carbs and shots. I have lurked over some wonderful blogs, and found comfort in other's words. Now, I am blogging and sharing my voice, but I have to wonder... is this becoming an obsession?

How much time is too much time devoted to diabetes?

I know this is still relatively new. I'm also still a little in shock, but is it normal to think about it, read about it and have it be at the forefront on your head all the time?

I don't want to be different then I was just a few short months ago, but I am. I fear I am emphasizing that difference with all of the time and effort I have dedicated to this disease, which still feels like an unwanted house guest. You know, annoying and not all that familiar, but still ALWAYS AROUND.

It has definitely caused me some serious time suckage. I think of all the things, I was focused on before. My art, my friends, my fiance, they all seem to be in the background, and I know they don't understand. So I wonder if I'm really losing myself as well. How do you balance such a dramatic shift in your life and retain yourself?

Maybe, this will pass. I do know, I can't ignore it, but I would like to.


Allison said...

After awhile, it will normalize. Right now, having a serious emphasis on diabetes is normal. It's new. It's different. It's quite a bit dangerous. It makes sense that you would feel drawn to surrounding yourself with all of this as an attempt to learn what happened to you.

But for most people, it isn't maintained. Because after a few weeks or months, it becomes routine. You might find that it isn't at all interesting and it's just "what you do."

Some people maintain a nice balance. Checking blogs and visiting message boards for an hour a so a night, or maybe every couple of days, just to keep up and communicate with others.

For some people, it's the majority of their time, but it's because it becomes not an obsession, but a hobby or a calling. They feel morally compelled to do what they do. People who write their blogs for their job (Amy Tenderich, for example) or people who blogged and then found their job (Kerri Morrone) or people who use diabetes as a way to help other people (Manny Hernandez and myself).

There is no "too much time" because it all depends on what you want to get out of it. If you *don't* want to become the next Super Advocate, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. Spend as much time doing this as you feel comfortable, and when you get bored, stop. Going be with your friends and your fiance.

We'll still be here when you get back.

Mandy said...

That is sooo good to hear. When you have no one to compare notes with, you can really start to second guess yourself. Normal takes on a whole new meaning.

I had a friend told me the other day, that it seemed like I was constantly checking my sugar. I started to think I was doing it too often, but my CDE said that my 4 times a day was the least amount I should be checking.

I really enjoy reading the blogs and feel like I need to learn, but I was afraid I was carrying it too far. I still can't imagine this stuff will ever become routine.

Thanks again, it really does put my mind at ease!